Breaking Out of the Box: Shifting Persistent Problems - James Rolph 
As human beings we tend to face two basic types of problem in life: When the first type of problem (we'll call it a first order-problem) arises we look at the situation, get a feel for what needs to be done and do it. Problem solved. With the second type (second order-problems) we do the same - but the problem doesn't resolve! And sometimes it even gets worse. So what is happening?
The above puzzle can help us to understand. The aim of the puzzle is to connect up all 9 dots with only four straight lines, without lifting pen/pencil from paper at any point. If you have never seen this before, give it a go and see how you get on.
As has been demonstrated time and time again, very few people who attempt to solve this problem do so without outside help. This is because as they evaluate the problem they inadvertently introduce an assumption that makes the solution impossible - the assumption is that they must stay inside the box as marked out by the 9 dots. That assumption makes the 9-dot problem a second-order problem.
If the problem were to connect all 9 dots with five lines, it would be a first-order problem - i.e. it would be solvable within the frame of our basic assumptions about the problem. To solve second-order problems we need to shift our assumptions and 'think outside the box'.
The problem with second-order change in the real world is that the assumptions that we are making are assumptions about how things really are, and we tend to confuse these assumptions with reality itself (confusing the map for the territory). This, of course, makes it less than easy to see the solution - the solution lies in discovering and accepting that our reality may be something other than that which we have grown comfortable with.
Second-order solutions almost never seem rational or logical, because they by necessity come from a place outside of our rationality and the logic that stems from it.
In NLP we say 'if what you are doing isn't working, try something else - anything else.' This is because anything else (unbounded by the apparent logic of the situation) comes from outside the box, and may just be the surprise thing that brings the second order shift.
Up until recently my wife and I were having problems with our 2 year old waking up several times a night. We tried every idea we could think of to resolve the problem, but to no avail. Then we re arranged her bedroom furniture (for completely different reasons), and the problem instantly resolved. The solution came from outside the box.
Another example (from Change, Watzlawick, Weakland and Fisch) is that of the agoraphobic man who's anxiety free territory had been shrinking more and more for years. He had tried all kinds of ways to get over his problem and finally gave in and decided to take his own life. He was sure that if he borrowed a car and drove out of the city, his anxiety would grow so much as to give him a heart attack before he had even got a few miles. So he borrowed the car and drove. And drove and drove. He eventually reached a mountain top view fifty miles from his home - enjoying the view and free from anxiety for the first time in years.
Milton Erickson (My Voice Will Go With You, Erickson and Rossi) tells of a client who weighing 180 pounds, wished to reduce her weight to 130. She had dieted successfully reaching her goal several times, only to put all of the weight back on. Erickson saw something in the pattern and prescribed a bizarre and paradoxical solution - he insisted that the client gain 20 pounds (by his scales) before he would help her reduce. At 190 pounds the client was deeply distressed. At 199 she was begging Erickson to let her stop. At 200 pounds she was ecstatic that she could now reduce, which she did. All the way down to 130 where she remained - "I'm never going to gain weight again" she said, emphatically
So what might lie outside the box for you? Next time you have a problem that has shown some persistence, let go of logic and do something different - anything different.
